CALL CHELSEA PERETTI

THE SIDESLEEPER VIRUS

Chelsea is interviewed by a strange and largely benevolent robot in this very special episode. With her directorial debut "First Time Female Director" out on Roku, a PMSing Chelsea takes a sudden philosophical interest in the world of criticism and review culture, envies scientists, mourns for Wendy Williams, explores the most polite way to say one has to go to the bathroom, and learns about pillow weight gain. Caller "Golden Tickets" and the first "Ozempic Food Test" are introduced. Longtime podcaster, first time crying on podcastpodcaster.

THE SUN’LL COME OUT, JEFF MAURO

"The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken out by a caraway seed. 

UTTERLY COWTRAGEOUS

Entertainer-to-the-bone Paul Scheer, hot off a cold plunge, blasts into the CCP studio for a late in the day coffee and high-octane, wordplay-heavy chat about highly sensitive people, "sir" as a slur, work emails, work costumes, cannoli, Yordy Rance, cold cases, OCD, intrusive thoughts, personality disorders, age. A therapist calls and refuses to diagnose Chelsea. Crying at a Veteran's hospital and children's hospital. Dog gurneys. Aliens. 

BONUS: POWERS CRISTIA! WITH BENNY AND KATE

In this very special episode Chelsea is joined by two Rokuligans, comedy geniuses, and cast members of First Time Female Director: Benito Skinner and Kate Berlant. Benny roasts Chelsea’s phone while Chelsea nurses her hand wounds from a fall on the way into studio. They attempt a variety of accents, discuss the merits of setting spray, and a caller raises awareness on the emergency blueberry bagel as medicine for stomach viruses. Kate arrives and the trio speaks on Beaudegas, marzipan and princess cake, yucca fries, la restaurants, sparkling tea, the breville bambino, teeth, veneers, salmon recipes, air fryer issues,microwaves versus cooking over the cauldron, cheese, breastmilk, Roku city, Mexico city, girl couch, Bennys tv show, Kate's stage show, and becoming a cheesemonger apprentice as a mid-life career shift. 

DRUGSTORE JUNE AND FIRST TIME FEMALE DIRECTOR

Two prominent women in film, beauty influencer Esther Povitsky and renowned shut-in Chelsea Peretti, come together to discuss food, almost exclusively. You can see them starring in “First Time Female Director” on Roku Friday March 8 and Drugstore June on Apple March 8. Do a double-header or just watch Chelsea’s. Thanks!

THE DAY THE TOOTH GOT LOOTH

Quad-dominant podcaster Chelsea Peretti listens to your voicemails, takes calls, and ponders the very meaning of time in this musically front-heavy episode. A sailor pop song! A jellyfish attack! An exercise clothing vendor! A dramatic recipe monologue. Pottery. Santa's anus. Lavender lattes. Etc. 

BOOK OF RISKS

Chelsea welcomes highlining daredevil Faith Dickey to talk the wild world of highlining, when you walk across a rope super high up. Why is it valuable to do scary things?  Is moderation the key to longevity? Infrared, compression sleeves, scrapers, epsom salts. Callers share what risks they take. An aspiring stand-up calls. Airplane etiquette. A solo round of "Who's Slurpin." Shoestring, curly, waffle, and steak fries. Malt vinegar. Brown sauce. Voicemails. The gap between the invention of bread and the invention of sandwiches. A call for food historians. Medieval food banquet fantasy. Cottage cheese. Flirting.
 

NECESSITY OR INCLINATION

The first lady of lattes and queen of caffeine is joined by legendary comedian Natasha Leggero, hot off of taking her shirt off onstage. Chelsea tries not to talk over people as a previous callers husband calls from the Catskills, a lady calls from her bath, and a stay at home dad calls to talk about shoulders. Natasha shirks gatekeeping and shares her lipstick and over-all brands as well as a secret for delicious tea. Discussion of a potty trained cat, people pleasers, fake aging hacks, chores, Emily Mariko, pottery, parenting, blondes, sex dreams, and pronunciation of words. Chelsea invents the Art History Gym Enrichment Program. Buy Natasha’s book “The World Deserves My Children”

ADAM SCOTT: PEANUT BUTTER MANIA

In this episode, alternately titled: SCIENTISTS ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH OUR MOUTHS, as well as PB & C & S, Adam Scott and Chelsea make a TJs run to grab repetitively named snacks and return to the stude to sample them. Chelsea has consistent trouble speaking, flabbergasted by the sheer volume of peanut-based snacks in what quickly devolves into a nightmare. Imagine a 1 hr 20 min long rollercoaster (where the ride is relatively flat). That is this episode. A danish kringle, a cannoli dip, some elote chips, 500 sweet peanut-based snacks, plus hummus - all along for the ride! Plus! A pao de quiejo foley artist? Yes. Stay nutty, you psychotic peanut freaks!!!...

JOE BITIN’

In peak award season, Chelsea lures "Jury Duty" break-out star (and Chicago's own) RASHIDA “SHEEDZ” OLAYIWOLA to the studio to slurp coff and talk Altimas. They read fake car ads. They chat about Hollywood: flash differential on the red carpet, how nobody 10-2s, weak eye contact at LA parties, and auditioning. Chelsea harps on the fact that the fork doesn't seem to have evolved. AND THEN, out of nowhere, a therapist with the gift of the gab shares a tale of a dinner party gone awry. One small dog's relentless bitin' spree? One giant step backward for humankind.